Be Your Own Valentine

Whether you’re single or in a relationship this Valentines Day, it’s important to remember love begins with YOU. If you don’t love and appreciate yourself, how can you love someone else? Seriously. It’s a good question because most people don’t really love themselves. Myself included.

Why not? Well, there’s all the little (and big) physical things I’d like to change. There’s also the way I shrink into shyness in a crowd, or always stay in my comfort zone for fear of rejection. Wouldn’t want to be myself and scare anyone away. Or, just be too much of something… Too quiet. Too loud. Too brainy. Too boring. Too old. Too (you fill in the blank). These things are conditions. So, maybe we agree to love ourselves on a good day, but not on a bad one.

What I’ve learned—and I think you have too—is that real love is doesn’t have conditions. Unconditional love is what we all aspire to. It’s the gold standard, really, and you’ve probably been giving it to others and not to yourself.

I touch on this in my WIP, young adult novel SONG OF A FIREBIRD, a teen romance that sidesteps into history, mythology and magic. On the surface, it’s a 15-year old girls quest to gain the confidence to rise up against her bully, steal said bully’s boyfriend and fly off into the sunset. But along the way, she taps into her feminine power, makes some pretty big mistakes and even captures the heart of the wrong guy. What’s a girl to do?

Love yourself, honey. Self-love is where it’s at. The underlying theme of self-acceptance is the heart of my novel. It’s not until you love yourself for all your light and your shadows, that you can truly accept the past and transform the future.

So, this Valentine’s Day, I encourage you to show yourself some love. Treat yourself to some chocolate, a hot bath, a night out (or in). Give yourself a break from overthinking, overcommitting and overdoing things. Think about all that’s great, and not so great, about yourself and embrace it. At least for one day. You deserve to put yourself first, Valentine.

Love and light,


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